I think a lot of moms would agree that one of the hardest things about mothering is filtering out all the unnecessary noise. There are so many people talking in our world. So much (well meaning) advice at our finger tips. So much “do this”, “don’t do that”. I just had my 4th baby, what some would consider a “been there done that mom” and I’ve become very conflicted and confused at points with the sheer VOLUME of information out there. So many different schools of thought on breast feeding, co sleeping, sleep training, schedules, etc. etc. You turn to google for a little bit of guidance only to be met with a fire hose of advice and quickly you feel like you’re doing it all wrong. We want what’s best for our babies but I’m pretty sure all our questions and concerns won’t be answered by a single method. This is what makes us and our babies human. But knowing that doesn’t make me less susceptible to sometimes feeling that if I don’t follow some set of rules or way of parenting that I’m gonna ruin my kids.
Last night I nursed Griffin before his bedtime.
He’s had a few rough nights and I think we’re both tired. I’m so thankful that regardless of nap and night wakings he is a very happy, content baby. He rarely cries unless he’s hungry or it’s 4am and he needs reassurance that I’m near. And he is easily soothed by my holding him or nursing him.
As we rocked, he had fallen asleep nursing. Something one camp discourages and the other encouragers. “It’s a sleep prop!” “No it’s not!” Who’s right? Heck if I know. There’s well stated arguments, that I get, from both sides. Either way it’s what we did on this night.
As I rocked him all I could think about is drowning out the noise. Sometimes I read so much I think my head might explode. And sometimes, it turns into noise that just leads me to confusion, doubt and fear. Advice can be good, there is wisdom in the counsel of others, but sometimes we just need to turn it off. When the noise becomes voices of condemnation that’s when you know you need to shut it down. I don’t think anyone intends for their advice or insight to be condemning but let’s not forget that we have an enemy who loves wielding well meaning intentions as a weapon against us. Whether to get us in a comparison trap or cause us to doubt ourselves and feel crushed with defeat, satan is satisfied with either outcome.
As I hold my baby and table everything I’ve read for a moment and just enjoy him, I think about Psalm 23, “The Lord is my Shepherd. I shall not want. He makes me lie down in green pastures. He leads me beside quiet waters.”
And then I think, “Just follow your good Shepherd to those quiet waters, Katie. There in the stillness you can hear your Heavenly Father. The One who GAVE you this sweet baby. The One who has enabled your body to birth and nurse and care for your children.” God has given us so many amazing natural instincts as mommies! I can be so guilty of depending on too many outside sources, (not just in mothering) when so much of what I need and what my baby needs is within me, from my Creator. A very young Mary gave birth to Jesus in a barn. There was no Le Leche League or Baby Wise back then. (For the record I have found helpful information from both sources.)
But momma’s, the minute satan takes that helpful advice and condemns you with it, turn it off. Take it captive and take all those concerns to your Heavenly Father. Remember, He cares for the sparrows…. and “you are worth more than many sparrows.” Matthew 10:31
Grahams in His Grace 