Obedience and closure are what I’m after :)

Since I was a little girl I have always enjoyed writing. Even from an academic stand point writing to me was fun. I still find great joy in writing for pleasure but over the years I have learned that writing is much more than a hobby for me. God has actually gifted me with exhortation, the gift of encouragement. Apparently he gave me a thing for words. 🙂 I don’t know if this is twofold for everyone who possesses this spiritual gift but writing is extremely therapeutic for me as well. Over the last 5 years I have found great delight, rest, and release in writing on this little blog site. Not only has it allowed me to document precious memories but I’ve been able to connect with many of you, sharing in the faith, and mutually encouraging each other. It’s not always easy to blog though. Sometimes I find myself compelled to write on more sensitive subjects and in the aftermath questioning “Is this how God wants me to use what he has gifted me with?” Being confronted with the fact that I AM a sinful human being inevitably means I won’t always get it “(w)ri(te)ght.” Just because I type something up that I feel incredibly passionate about and tag on Jesus Name does not make it infallible. Only the Word of God possesses that quality. Every part of me wants every part of my life, even a blog, to represent Christ well. And I am fully aware that every single one of our words carries weight in matters of eternity.

Though imperfectly, when approaching this public avenue of writing I have tried to be very prayerful, reliant on the Holy Spirit, and at times accountable to more mature believers. I have sought to view this as a ministry of encouragement. I’ve shared about family memories, marriage fun and fails, the struggles and joys of parenting, and the delights of being an over-thinking melancholy, among other things. I have written things that are personal, embarrassing even, because I genuinely felt led by the Lord to be authentic and reveal how the power of His love moves us to repentance and turning from selfish ways.

Still, I find myself wondering, in a world where we have SO MANY people expressing themselves in public forums, could our exposure to such a wide range of lifestyles and opinions be polluting the ONE opinion that matters? We are even warned in scripture to be careful of those whose words we allow to persuade us. I was reminded this morning in Colossians 2:8 “See to it that no one takes you captive through hollow and deceptive philosophy, which depends on human tradition and the basic principles of this world rather than on Christ.”

Ultimately I don’t want people to just listen to me. I have always wanted my writing to lead people to Christ, to study and listen to HIS Word. This blog isn’t meant to express “Look at how we do life. Mimic our way it’s the right way.” It’s supposed to be expressing “We’re trying to seek the Lord in each decision and moment. This is how he’s working in our life. We’re not perfect. Our way isn’t right but HIS WAY is.” I know. Not the most fluid caption. That’s why I chose the Ephesians verse instead. “For we are God’s masterpiece. He has created us anew in Christ Jesus, so we can do the good things he planned for us long ago.”

Inadvertently I have taken several weeks off from posting here. I have been writing though. You just don’t even understand how necessary it is for me. 🙂 I mean a lot has happened in the last month! But lately I write and then something interesting occurs. I get a very strong sense, as if God is gently speaking over me “Just leave this one between you and me. It’s treasured and cared about here.” When this first happened I actually had to ask myself “Is this enough for you? Is it enough, that God, your Creator, and Heavenly Father, hears your hearts concerns, your joyful moments, your passionate beliefs? Or do you still need someone else to validate you?” It may sound like a small insignificant step but in faith I laid it at his feet actively answering the question that He is enough for me. He knows my thoughts and hears every prayer and that is absolutely all I need. So that was the first time. I didn’t really expect to have to do it again and again. But God knows me best and practice makes perfect right?

I believe God is leading me to step away from this blog for a season….. or all 4 seasons…. I’m not real sure how long. A lot of big changes, total God things, have happened in our life in the last 6 months. In fact a lot I haven’t even typed out here. :-/ Sorry if this seems vague it’s not you, it’s me. 😉 As we continue in what the Lord has laid before us and impressed on our hearts, His Spirit just keeps telling me to “Be personal, not virtual. Use your gifts in real time, real life, in the flesh. Trust Me. I’ll bring people in your life to speak truth to you. I’ll also lead to you those who need the truth and will listen and hear My voice.” I love in 2 John 12 how he writes “I have much to write to you, but I do not want to use paper and ink. Instead, I hope to visit you in person and talk with you face to face, so that our joy may be complete.”

Of course I believe we can benefit from the outside perspectives of strong trusted Christians. It’s called being a disciple. We are called to it and to do it after the point of our conversion all the way till we get to Heaven. (Matthew 28:18-20 The Great Commission: Jesus came to them and said, “All authority in heaven and on earth has been given to me. Therefore go and make disciples of all nations, baptizing them in the name of the Father and of the Son and of the Holy Spirit, and teaching them to obey everything I have commanded you. And surely I am with you always, to the very end of the age.”) Pretty sure Jesus expected us to do it like him. Most of discipleship is going to take place in person. 😉 We can’t stay home alone with our Bible and close our self off from allowing God to use PEOPLE in our life. Not at all. But we do need to be cautious of WHO we listen to. The fact is there’s a lot of misinterpretation of the Bible and misrepresentation of Christ out there. 2 Timothy 4:3 “For the time will come when people will not put up with sound doctrine. Instead, to suit their own desires, they will gather around them a great number of teachers to say whatever their itching ears want to hear.” I do read lots of Christian books and heed instruction from mature believers but I also take every word, belief, or idea back to scripture. I pray that we who call ourselves Christian would be vigilant, prayerful, and devoted students of the Word of God.

This really is as they say bittersweet. 🙂 Thank you for being so gracious with me. Many of you have let me “Work out my salvation with fear and trembling” here and have been extremely uplifting with your responses whether by comment, text, phone, or email. So… until I am I led to write again,…

Grace and peace be with you all.