I have realized that since we have lived in Georgia, I haven’t made any new close friends. Like really close. I have certainly made friends, good friends even. I have met and spent time with some very wonderful people but nothing like any of the relationships I left in Florida. I was fortunate to have my cousin (in law) when we lived in Dallas, instant BFF. Living in such close proximity to each other, our husbands were also not only family but good friends too, and our kids were in the same age bracket, so it was just an aligning of the stars sort of thing. Having them nearby I just didn’t need to venture out and make new friends. Quite frankly, much of the time we would meet new families, and just compare them to Scott and Nicole and how easy the nature of our relationship with them was. I mean for goodness sake we have lived with them and still like them, that just says a lot 😉
So here we are in a new area of Georgia and I know how much I need good friends. Not just hang out buddies, like some quality, godly friendship. Jason and I both need this. And I’ll be honest, this new friend search….. it’s rather depressing.
Making friends as an adult is awkward and challenging to say the least. Anybody feel me? It’s a lot different than when I was young. Or maybe not, maybe it’s the same….. but worse! Maybe it’s just me.
I think way too much about what I say, what I do, and how it’s interpreted. The whole “getting to know you, getting to know all about you….” phase, ugh, I’d like to skip it sometimes. Don’t get me wrong, I am an open book, but then I analyze to death everything I shared and I usually come to the conclusion “they probably think I am a needy, crazy, lonely, whackadoo.” I suppose I should just come right out and say “here’s my messy life, can we be friends or not? And if not, fine by me, but let’s cut through all the shenanigans. I need a real-Georgia- peach-friend and I need one pronto!” Yeah that would be real nice if we could approach relationships that way but it’s not entirely realistic. Good friendships take time and patience.
There are a couple things I am trying to keep in mind with this whole making friends thing.
I am praying God would bring someone that provides an avenue for mutual edification. Iron sharpening iron. That’s what I miss most about Florida. All the women there that not only encouraged me but also would lovingly correct me. We need friends that we can be honest with so we can grow. I won’t be challenged to change and grow if I surround myself by people that just nod and agree at everything I say or do.
I am trying to remain confident in how God has made me and where he has me in life. Sometimes I try to fight how I’m wired and sometimes I will feel uncomfortable around other women if my stage of life or circumstance differs from theirs. God doesn’t want me to be insecure or feel guilty about either of those things. He is sovereign over my life and as I walk in obedience I just need to point to him.
I’ve been practicing boldness and moving out of my comfort zone. Every mother knows it’s just EASIER to stay home. There is always something to be done. Just the other day I had to call in reinforcements from a friend to say “Go! The chores can wait. Grocery shopping can wait. Take the opportunity to spend time with a new friend.” I have a tendency to make excuses for why I should stay home and they are always legitimate. But often times we really do have to let things wait and make time for relationships.
And I am trying to recognize that not every meeting will be my new BFF and that’s okay. Just as God has ordained all the wonderful friendships I have, he will develop all my future relationships with women as I trust him. I just have to do my part. No one is going to show up at my doorstep asking to have coffee. I have to go where women are!
Our church doesn’t have a women’s ministry yet. So I am trying to be creative with ways to connect with some other ladies. So far I have had some random run-ins with a couple of gals. But I am excited to try out a local MOPS group. I have heard such wonderful things about MOPS from one of my closest friends, Kaitlyn, so I decided to see if there was one in the surrounding area and there is. Hopefully it will be as beneficial, not only relationally but also in Spiritual growth, as I have seen it to be in Kaitlyn’s life.
Has anyone tried a MOPS group? Or what are some other good ways for women to connect with other women? Moms with moms and wives with wives? It’s always good to do life together with people who can relate to you! 🙂
On another note, we have some animal friends visiting us. Our neighbors, who moved in “next door” shortly after us, have 2 horses. They need to fertilize their pasture so we get the pleasure of hosting their horses in our pasture for a time. They are very pleasant guests, no trouble at all and very picturesque.
Sundance is the paint and Trinity is the beautiful Arabian. The girls are eating them up to say the least. 🙂 Micaila is very attached to Sundance, they have a thing. 🙂