So I sort of made a new years resolution to spend more time in God’s Word. And I have to be honest with you, so far I’m doing a really poor job of keeping that commitment. It’s January 8th and I have 2 entries in my prayer journal which makes for 2 quiet times with Jesus. Pretty stinkin pathetic for me…. I say that knowing how my days are and knowing I most definitely could have made time for Him and didn’t. So last night I was starting to feel really poorly about my lack of discipline and desire to be with Him every day. And you know that the more you sink into a pattern of NOT being with Him the more you will choose to not be with Him. But I also know that when you choose to be obedient to the Spirit and choose to love Him and spend time with Him than your desire will grow and you can begin the discipline of spending time in the Word and with Jesus. So as I thought of all this last night I told myself “Tomorrow morning will be different. It’s a new day, and His mercies ARE new every morning and tomorrow morning I’m giving to Him.”
So I woke up and collected all my tools for a successful quiet time. Bible, journal, pen, lap top in case I need Biblegateway or Oneplace.com. I notice that when I haven’t been diligently in the Word then I begin to feel a little lost in my quiet times. I decided it might be good for me to listen to a teaching to start and then go from there. Of course I went to Dr. James McDonald and listened to a really GREAT sermon. The series is Keep Up and I started at the beginning with “Don’t Drift Away”. I encourage anyone to give it a listen b/c he just really hits hard with the truth and I was very encouraged by this message. It was clear to me after listening to it that I was SUPPOSED to listen to it. I instantly felt spiritually rejuvenated and ready to just dive into the Word and prayer. I love that feeling. Sometimes we aren’t always going to FEEL this way and that’s why we don’t rely on our feelings but it’s always nice to feel ALIVE spiritually and ready to just take on the world with Christ. I don’t know, it must of been exactly what I needed to hear b/c I seriously am ready to walk out of this house and share the gospel and start living for Him better than I did the day before. He touched on being sure that you ARE a Christian. Examining ourselves, is there fruit??? Making sure that we aren’t relying on the salvation of our family, or a prayer we prayed, or the fact that we have good attendance at church. He taught from Hebrews, reminding us what it says “pay more careful attention, therefore, to what we have heard, so that we do not drift away” 2:1 One thing he said that really struck home for me was what puts us to sleep spiritually and that is the pursuit of pleasure. I wrote down some examples of what I get sucked into: the next social event, next purchase, buying cats!! having babies even, focusing/being distracted on the future in general instead of thinking “How can I glorify God right now?” I can get so caught up in that stuff and pass the day away with out spending any time thinking about Him.
I hope you know that I write a lot of my blogs hoping to relate to someone. Or that they might feel they can relate to me. I know from experience that I can feel pretty dumpy when I feel like I’m some sort of failure and that I’m not getting it right. But the fact is we all are failures at some point. We’re all human and broken and not one of us is perfect. But thank goodness there is hope for us through Jesus Christ. Thank goodness we have someone to look to, learn from, to strive to be like, someone that can also pick us up when we fall and love us unconditionally. This girl right here is NOT perfect. And anything good that I do is the Holy Spirit working through me….. not me, but Him.