Husband and Wife

This morning I was able to spontaneously meet with my mentor. It was obviously an orchestration by God because I wasn’t supposed to meet with her. In fact, my mother was, but when she saw the stress I was crumbling under this morning she suggested I go instead. Stress created by my dumb dog Jake. UGH! Any takers????

I’ve been under Susie’s discipleship since right before we moved out of our home in Brooksville. She is an amazing woman to say the least. A godly woman that I look up to very much. I have learned so much from her personal experiences and am very grateful that God is using her in my life.

We talk about everything. EVERYTHING. And we often get a few topics in in one sitting. I usually walk away though with one “Ah ha!” that I’m excited about and can’t wait to start implementing in my daily life.

Today’s nugget was this: I do not have (nor do I want) a cookie cutter marriage.

This may be simple to a lot of you. You might be thinking “Duh Katie…” but seriously. In our society we are all up in every ones business. Between publicity, social networking, BLOGGING, we are constantly subject to how other people live their lives. And I know I am not the only one who has looked at someone else and thought “Wow, maybe I should be doing that??” Often I have found myself looking at other people, leaders in our church, couples I look up to, and thinking “Oh no, Jason and I don’t do that… there must be something wrong with us…” But I can recognize now, that God has wired us ALL different. And all our marriages are going to look different. Even when we are fully submitted to God, our marriages in the body of Christ are still not going to LOOK the same. They should reflect God, but in different ways. So what might work in one couples marriage, may not work or be important for me and my husband. And THAT’S OKAY. There isn’t anywhere in the bible that says “This is exactly what a Christian marriage will look like” Yes we as Christians will love (1 Corinthians 13), and possess the fruit of the spirit (Galations 5:22). And yes we as wives need to be submissive to our husbands (Colossians 3:18). Which ALSO will look different in each marriage. My being submissive to Jason a phlegmatic is gonna look different then another woman submitting to her super choleric husband. Different temperaments need different things. So we wives are going to submit differently. And I find GREAT relief in knowing this. Don’t get trapped (like I did) in thinking that something is wrong with your husband if he doesn’t want to get up and preach or speak in front of 10, 20, 50 people. Or if he doesn’t want to be in the choir singing. Or if he isn’t initiating prayer with you on a regular basis. As long as you are confident he is actively pursuing his relationship with God, then God is going to reveal what will be important for the two of you to do as a couple to advance His kingdom. And that’s what matters. Bringing God glory and honor. I would often get all down that Jason and I weren’t praying together. But it was more about ME than God. It was more about my feeling like we were really intimate together spiritually, then it was about God. And that’s not right. So now I know that it’s ok to be different, as a couple, in our walk with God. Praise God! Maybe you find it funny that all this just clicked with me but I’m just happy it did.

And also, since I have referred to temperaments a lot I really encourage anyone and everyone to find out what theirs and maybe their spouses is. You will really benefit from it. I read “The Spirit Controlled Woman” by Beverly Lahaye and I plan on reading her husband Tim Lahaye’s version for men. And also, I haven’t read it YET but I hear “Two Sides of Love” by Gary Smalley and John Trent is great too. Just a few book readings to throw out there =)


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